#Poem at night: Dark Knights

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This poem is the start of a series of poems I have written since 2011 called “My lost Souls”. They work through the experience of dissociation one of the mechanisms that humans experience when going through the aftermath of traumatic experiences.

Not everybody dissociates but I do. Dissociation means a feeling of not being in ones body or someone else taking over. In extreme cases it can change into a personality disorder and at times I have wondered if I am living with DID.

Dark Knights

Dark knights
came at night.

Their fiery
swords
slew my
first soul.

They came
again
and
again.

Night
by
Night.

I lost
soul
after
soul.

Their
desolate
shadows
linger
in the
back
of my
dreams

where
dark knights
come
night after night!

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Please also visit my posts about mental health and healing at “A Spirit of Healing.”

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I love February ~ A #poem

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I used to have a ritual: Every February I when it got a little warmer I sat in a corner close to the house enjoying the first warmth of spring sun and have a cup of coffee. It was my early greeting to spring and my little celebration of hope.

Where we live now I cannot do that because we do not have a corner that is protected enough to sit outside in spring but I believe we will have once we got the new house (if ever of course).

On one of those February days I wrote this poem:

 

 

I love February

Shy Sol                                                            peeks into
my cosy patio corner.
She caresses
my cheeks.

I offer
my first
outside latte
expecting
to be refused.

She hides
behind a
lonely cloud
and I retreat
to the warmth
of my fireplace.

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#Poem at Night: Avalon

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When I wrote this poem in February 2011 I was in a very bad place. Depression and PTSD had a grip on me but I was not really aware of it. I was about to give up my position as department manager which I felt was defeat. I had worked hard to make the department a success but I just could not deal with the stress connected with it.

Sometimes though you just have to let go of a goal to move on. I had some time off work and I used it to write, to tweet and to read. One of my favourite books is “The Mists of Avalon” by Marion Zimmer-Bradley and I love Glastonbury where Avalon is supposedly situated.

So, I wrote a poem about it:-).

Avalon

Say hello
to blooming apple trees.
A misty lake
protects my hopes
of peace and freedom.
Meandering paths
of reality
embracing Tor Hill.
I will be there
and watch.

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Please also visit my posts about mental health and healing at “A Spirit of Healing.”

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Metamorphosis ~ A #Poem

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This is one of my favourite poems. It expresses how I feel about myself. I change constantly, I develop, I go back into hibernation and come back again to change anew.

I love this image of being alive and developing and the image of the butterfly. I can just hope that it gives you a push to discover new territory too.

Metamorphosis

again and again
my refugee self
seeks shelter
in golden chrysalis

it hibernates
rests
dreams
transforms

blooms into
my authentic soul
forever inclining
to my refugee soul
again

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#Poem at night: Breaking the cycle

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We have reached now posts from February 2011. I didn’t remember that I was writing so many poems in those days. Even though I translated many I have written earlier in German. It is a discovery for me how much I have always lived my creativity and what a treasure of writing and posts I have.

I just have a look to check how many posts are on this blog now and WordPress tells me just over 3000. Unbelievable. They have come together from 5 blogs which I have started since 2009. There are a few more blogs that I have written but I haven’t used all here. Some are about writing projects that I now try to finish and then decide what I am going to do with them. Exciting times:-).

Breaking the cycle

It’s viciousness
traps me
time and time again.

There is
no
beauty hidden
in
exhausting nights.

                                                    It cracks though a little more
every now and then.

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Please also visit my posts about mental health and healing at “A Spirit of Healing.”

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Song Lyric Sunday ~ Living in the Past by Jethro Tull

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I have a pretty broad music taste. There is everything from Bach over Jess Glynne to the Sex Pistols that makes me dance or just listen. But I have a real thing for the music of the 60 and 70 and one band I like because they use a flute is Jethro Tull. I actually saw them live in the early 90’s in Berlin.
I was so excited because I loved their music. However, the company who employed them decided to do the concert in a Hall that was set up for a company meeting with chairs that had tables in front of them.
You can imagine how well you can party in that sort of environment. Jethro Tull saw it the same way. They didn’t even do an extra song so pissed off were they. Never mind. I heard “Aqualung”, “Thick as a Brick” and one of my favourites “Living in the Past”.
And that is the song that I’ve chosen for today. You are curious what they are up to nowadays? Have a look here

“Living In The Past”

Happy and I’m smiling
walk a mile to drink your water
You know I’d love to love you
and above you there’s no other
We’ll go walking out
while others shout of war’s disaster
Oh, we won’t give in
let’s go living in the past
Once I used to join in
every boy and girl was my friend
Now there’s revolution, but they don’t know
what they’re fighting
Let us close our eyes
outside their lives go on much faster
Oh, we won’t give in
we’ll keep living in the past
Lyrics from A-Z Lyrics
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This post takes part in Helen’s wonderful “Song Lyric Sunday“. Please head over and be introduced to amazing music!

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Please also visit my posts about mental health and healing at “A Spirit of Healing
 
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Devils Smile ~ A #Poem

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I have had a few people in my life who on the surface seemed to be very nice but if you got closer to them and saw behind the mask there was lurking a demon. Here is a poem about those:

Devils Smile

hidden behind
your beautiful face
covered with
comforting words
lays your
devil’s smile

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