I love Polaroin

September 2016

I had many blogs on my other WordPress profile one of which was a photography blog. I have integrated it into “Just Fooling Around With Bee” but unfortunately, most pictures do not show up in this blog. Never mind. There is a lot of deleting going on right now🙂.

However, I still love Polaroin and have some of my Polaroin creations kept safe so I can share them with you anyway. This is what I wrote in February 2012 about it.

February 2012

In my blog “Zara ~ writing journey” I was writing about Julia Cameron‘s advice to give yourself a day per week to just play around with something you enjoy to give your creativity a boost. Photography is my “playing around” and there are some gadgets and pages that help:

One of it is Polaroin an online Polaroid creator. You can upload one of your pictures and it creates an old-fashioned Polaroid picture. You can even write something on it. Here are some examples:

please click on photos to enlarge

In this sense have a creative rest week all of you!

Bee Social:



#Photo of the day: Stonehenge

It is difficult to take a good picture of places everyone has already seen. My take on Stonehenge:


Bee Social:

Teaser Tuesday ~ Women Who Run With The Wolves

September 2016

For a while, I will “bother” you with one of my favourite books on Tuesdays. I read it on and off, therefore, I think it is ok to use it for Teaser Tuesday. I posted this post in May 2016 on “A Spirit of Healing” which doesn’t exist anymore. So here its posts will have a little comeback😉

May 2016

I am reading this book on and off. There is always something new to discover depending where my life’s journey has led me and which lessons I was willing to learn. Here is another teaser for you:

In a single human being there are many other beings, all with their own values, motives, and devices. Some psychological technologies suggest we arrests these beings, count them, name them, force them int harness till they shuffle along like vanquished slaves. But to do this would halt the dance of the wildish light in a woman’s’ eyes; it would halt her heat lightning an arrest in all throwing of sparks.

Women who run with the Wolves, p 35, Riderbooks paperback


Teaser Tuesday is a weekly bookish meme, hosted by MizB of Books And A Beat.



Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!


Bee Social:

Lost Souls ~ What is this all about?

8c7a9-bee7September 2016

In February 2012 I started another blog. This time, I wanted to post my poems about dealing with being a survivor of abuse and my healing path. I stopped it after a while because since then I have been in a mental health crisis on and off.

I still I want to share the post I’ve written then about what “Lost Souls” are about because I have mentioned that series of poems fairly often in the last few months.

February 2012 

If you do not belong to the community of survivors and thrivers of sexual and other sorts of abuse in your childhood, this expression might be quite strange for you. What might “Lost Souls” mean?

Children who are faced with sexual abuse and rape need tools to survive the unbearable reality of living in an environment that does not support and even harm them. As they are often isolated from any outside help but have enormous creativity and fantasy still at their disposal their psyches do what is called “dissociate”.

Wikipedia describes psychological Dissociation as “… an altered state of consciousness characterised by partial or complete disruption of the normal integration of a person’s normal conscious or psychological functioning.[1] Dissociation is most commonly experienced as a subjective perception of one’s consciousness being detached from one’s emotions, body and/or immediate surroundings.[2] Van der Kolk et al.[3] describe dissociation as a “compartmentalization of experience.” Under normal conditions, consciousness, memory, emotions, sensory awareness, affect, etc., are integrated; with dissociation, in contrast, these traits are discretely compartmentalised to greater or lesser degrees.” ( Taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociation_(psychology) on the 28th February 2012).”

In simpler words (which really does not explain the complex mechanisms in full but makes things easier to understand) the child’s soul creates different personalities to be able to deal with the different situations it finds himself/herself in. There might be one personality/soul who is a strong adult fighter and bears the horrors of the abuse. There might be the bright child who deals with school and friends. There might be a teenager who deals with everyday life at home.

They might as well “just” experience being outside their bodies when the abuse happens and are not aware of the horrors but are “back” afterwards and in the rest of their lives. As different as every person is as different develops “dissociation”.

Quite often there is one “leader-personality” who keeps all the others together and co-ordinates life as a whole. Sometimes children and later on the adults experience amnesia of the horrors to be able to survive. Sometimes all personalities work together well ~ sometimes there are problems especially if the different personalities have totally opposite experiences, likes and talents.

In psychology, it is described as Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID), but children and adults who live with this condition often see it rather as a great help and a beautiful system which enabled them to survive and lead a life which is as normal as possible under the given circumstances than a disorder.

I have experienced childhood sexual abuse as well as a very contradictory environment of neglect on one part of the family but over protecting from the other. I am not diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, but I know that I have been outside my body when the abuse happened, and I had experiences of amnesia later on in my life which suggests that there might be more than one personality in my life.

When I decided to heal from the abuse and to have healthy relationships as well as a life worth living I needed means of expression of my experiences. I have always been writing poetry and one day my muses gave me the expression “Lost Souls”. As I am not aware of different personalities but have lost many memories and parts of my life this expresses the best how I feel and how I try to deal with the healing.

I have been writing several poems dealing mainly with emotions involved in the abuse as well as the healing which are all about my lost souls. Quite soon I felt the urge to publish those in a blog/book to help other survivors as well as educate others who are interested to learn what it means to be a survivor.

Now I have enough material to publish a small blog/book, and it is my wish that many may find help and information with it.

September 2016

This book is one of the writing projects I work on right now.

Bee Social:



K’lee and Dale’s Cosmic Photo Challenge ~ On the Rocks!

Really! I could not resist this week’s Cosmic Photo Challenge that K’lee has provided us. You can find out all about it here and here.

But without further ado to my take on “On The Rocks”


This is one of my most favourite picture I have ever made. In 2011 and 2012 we had the chance to go to Germany and see my grandmother who sadly passed away in 2013. On one of those visits, we went to Heidenheim the next town where I grew up and for a while went to school. It has a castle called “Hellenstein” which for many years is the location of a music and opera festival in summer. Went around the place and suddenly I spotted this sunflower which actually grew out of the wall. A different form of “on the rocks”🙂.


I cropped it a little first


Then the colour drained🙂


I have no idea what this exactly did. It’s called “pop” and ended up like this which I think is cool🙂.


And, at last, I tried out the vignette.

I have to explain that I am using whatever editor Google offers on “Photos”. Never worked much with it so I’m trying it out for this challenge. Not much “cosmic” happened yet but blogging is a journey in my opinion and I am sure I can manage something more “hip” and “funky” later on.

Hope you enjoyed it and if you want to find more cosmic photos have a look here

Diary of an Internet Nobody




Bee Social:

#Photo of the day: one of my favourites


September 2016

In January 2012 I started a new blog on my other WordPress account which was dedicated to my photography. Unfortunately, the photos haven’t been imported properly so I can only post those which I recognise the description. This one I do recognise because it is still one of  my favourites

January 2012

I took this last year on our holiday. We went to see a castle and saw that lovely sunflower growing out of the castle wall. It is just amazing!


Bee Social:

Mindful Monday ~ Synchronicity

Mindful Monday

Mindful Monday

Welcome to Mindful Monday a blogging event that has been created by Colleen over at Silverthreading but for a while is hosted here at “Just Fooling Around With Bee or The Bee Writes”.

Colleen follows her call to tell the fairies stories, so her blog follows other paths.

Therefore, I have stepped in as I believe Mindful Monday is important, and it is important to have it as a weekly feature.

Thanks Colleen for letting me be the host for the time being!

Mindful Monday is a blog feature to support each other on our mindful and healthy journeys. It is not a challenge but a community of bloggers who post insightful posts on Mondays which make us think, change and hopefully act too.

Please feel free to leave your link to your Mindful Monday post in the comments, so the Mindful Monday community has the chance to head over to your place and give and get support.


September 2016

I wrote the following post in March 2015. And I have experienced similar things since.

March 2015

Life does not happen in accidents. Life happens in synchronicities!


Synchronicity according to Wikipedia:

“Synchronicity is the occurrence of two or more events that appear to be meaningfully related but not causally related. Synchronicity holds that such events are “meaningful coincidences”. The concept of synchronicity was first defined by Carl Jung, a Swiss psychiatrist, in the 1920s.[1] During his career, Jung furnished several slightly different definitions of it.[2]Syncrhoinicyt…”

Synchronicity according to Crystalinks:

“…Synchronicities are patterns that repeat in time. The word ‘synchronicity’ references the gears or wheels of time, though the actual concept of synchronicity cannot be scientifically proven. One can only record synchronicities as they occur and watch the patterns of behavior that create them. The concept of synchronicity is currently linked more to metaphysics, yet physics (quantum physics) and metaphysics are merging, thus showing their interconnection and how we manifest synchronicities in our lives…”

Synchronicity according to Merriam-Webster:

“…the coincidental occurrence of events and especially psychic events (as similar thoughts in widely separated persons or a mental image of an unexpected event before it happens) that seem related but are not explained by conventional mechanisms of causality —used especially in the psychology of C. G. Jung…”


photo credit: Shannon Kringen via Flickr

Yesterday I wrote about that monster I had become last week. This morning with my mug of tea in my hands I thought: “Maybe I just have to accept that I am who I am. I’ve been through a lot in life and you do not get through without scars and difficulties to work under pressure. Just be gentle with yourself!

Today Colleen over at “Silverthreading” writes about self-love with a picture of affirmations, that support loving yourself.

As I said above:

Life does not happen in accidents. Life happens in synchronicities!

huge bee mug

my mug


This post is part of “Mindful Monday” over at Colleen’s blog “Silverthreading”.

Please visit her and find more inspirational posts!

Bee Social: