Feeling guilty is a huge topic for survivors of abuse and it has been on my mind for a long time. Of course, those in Christian countries December is a month of feeling guilty too: You remember all those relatives and friends whom you haven’t contacted in ages and you eat much more than you should.
In June I wrote a post about guilty feelings with some bad language 🙂 and I thought I’ll share it again. Here you go:
Welcome to Mindful Monday a blogging event that has been created by Colleen over at Silverthreading but for a while is hosted here at “A Spirit of Healing”. Colleen follows her call to tell the fairies stories, so her blog follows other paths.
Therefore, I have stepped in as I believe Mindful Monday is important, and it is important to have it as a weekly feature. Thanks Colleen for letting me be the host for the time being!
Mindful Monday is a blog feature to support each other on our mindful and healthy journeys. It is not a challenge but a community of bloggers who post insightful posts on Mondays which make us think, change and hopefully act too.
Please feel free to leave your link to your Mindful Monday post in the comments, so the Mindful Monday community has the chance to head over to your place and give and get support.
I am looking forward to reading your insights for this week!
Last week Helen over at “This Thing Called Life One Word At A Time” shared with us her changed attitude to doing exercise. Her mindful approach taught her to go it slow and not to overdo it. Please head over and give her another boost on her journey. Thanks :-).
I had time off work last week and it was an odd experience. Not that strange things had happened but I was strange somehow. I do not drink an awful lot of alcohol, always make sure I stay in my budget with our food and keep sugars and coffee at a minimum.
Last week I thought: “Bugger that!” (sorry for my language)
I had such an urge to drink some Guinness the only beer I like that I got a pack for the husband and myself and happily drank along. I had some distinguished cider (yeah! right! it was the good old Savannah) in the evening and a mug of coffee in the morning with lots of spices, cream and chocolate. I was on holiday after all. You have to spoil yourself sometimes!
At the same time, I was mindful of the fact how much I feel guilty when I do these things. It feels like I have to punish myself for whatever sin I have committed when I was young or in a former life and again I thought: “Bugger that!” (And no I do not apologize this time)
I have always been the sensible one. The grown up one who was used as an example for her cousins of how well I behaved and how much responsibility I took from an early age on.
Of course, surviving abuse means you do things that are not that great and I have been a mean bastard towards my younger brother at times (sorry bruv I hope you know I love you). The adults around me often didn’t see that part of me and I did everything to hide it.
I suspect me trying to be the good girl all of my life was to hide what I have done. However, these things happened when I was a child and I didn’t know better. An abused child does develop guilt for many reasons and it is a huge problem for adult survivors of abuse.
Looking at what I drank and ate last week I realize that it is not that much. I didn’t get drunk and didn’t put on weight. But I really enjoyed the treats we had and felt extremely grateful that I have the chance to buy us these things.
It was a very freeing experience and I hope it was symbolical for me letting go of other guilt that I still feel. In my experience feeling guilty doesn’t help to resolve a situation or to find healing. Feeling guilty keeps us in a vicious circle of resentment and acting out that makes you feel even guiltier.
Maybe the best “weapon” against feeling guilty is counting your blessings and to count your blessings you need to have achieved a certain amount of mindfulness.
I must have managed some breaking out of my guilt prison because I managed to walk every day for at least 30 min and at a few times even double that. That I think was quite something!
What do you feel guilty about and how do you manage to let guilt go?