Mindful Monday ~ Letting go of control

Mindful Monday

Mindful Monday

Welcome to Mindful Monday a blogging event that has been created by Colleen over at Silverthreading but for a while is hosted here at “Just Fooling Around With Bee or The Bee Writes”.

Colleen follows her call to tell the fairies stories, so her blog follows other paths.

Therefore, I have stepped in as I believe Mindful Monday is important, and it is important to have it as a weekly feature.

Thanks Colleen for letting me be the host for the time being!

Mindful Monday is a blog feature to support each other on our mindful and healthy journeys. It is not a challenge but a community of bloggers who post insightful posts on Mondays which make us think, change and hopefully act too.

Please feel free to leave your link to your Mindful Monday post in the comments, so the Mindful Monday community has the chance to head over to your place and give and get support.

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September 2016

Today I share with you my first ever “Mindful Monday” post. Sometimes it is good to look back to where you have come from. And the information in the post is still important.

Spring 2015

Coleen over at Silver Threading started a wonderful series a few months ago. It is called “Mindful Monday” and invites you to explore Mindfulness and what it means to you. Her posts show different aspects of her life and what Mindfulness brings to it.

I have come across the expression a few times before. For the first time when my last therapist gave me a sheet about it. To be honest I have forgotten everything I read or heard. Right now it just means for me “to be in the moment”, “to follow my intuition” and “letting go of control”.

Wikipedia describes it as follows: “Mindfulness is “the intentional, accepting and non-judgemental focus of one’s attention on the emotions, thoughts and sensations occurring in the present moment”,[1] which can be trained by meditational practices[1] derived from Buddhist anapanasati.[2]…”

bemindful.co.uk says: “Mindfulness is a mind-body approach to well-being that can help you change the way you think about experiences and reduce stress and anxiety.”

And franticworld.com writes: “Mindfulness is a very simple form of meditation that was little known in the West until recently. A typical meditation consists of focusing your full attention on your breath as it flows in and out of your body. Focusing on each breath in this way allows you to observe your thoughts as they arise in your mind and, little by little, to let go of struggling with them. You come to realise that thoughts come and go of their own accord; that you are not your thoughts. You can watch as they appear in your mind, seemingly from thin air, and watch again as they disappear, like a soap bubble bursting. You come to the profound understanding that thoughts and feelings (including negative ones) are transient. They come and they go, and ultimately, you have a choice about whether to act on them or not.”

butterfly on toe

butterfly on toe (not photoshopped ~ that really happened 🙂 )

For me mindfulness has an extra importance: One of my ways of dealing with abuse, when I was a child, was to disconnect from my body. In a way, I only existed in my mind and my body had a life of its own. It is hard to describe how that might work and how it feels like but I tried to ignore as much of my body as possible because it was connected with so much pain.

Our breath is described as our connection between body and mind and I believe this is true because when I first started meditating and just concentrated on my breath I started to feel more connected with my body. I was also taught by my therapist to concentrate on my breathing when anxiety and panic attacks hit and most of the time it works pretty well.

Another way of dealing with a life that was chaotic and filled with overpowering emotions was to keep in control. Even though I was not really aware of it, my life needed to have a certain “schedule”, to go a certain way for me to feel secure. Lists of what to do played a big role. Of course, any change in life or work creates a huge amount of anxiety for a person like that. And, of course, life constantly changes so I had a hard time to get my lists or my schedules working.

Since I had the chance to do EMDR therapy a lot has changed. I have become more aware of that disconnection of body and mind as well as my need for control. Not sure why but bit by bit I let this “security-thing” go. I rather “go with the flow” and try not to set myself schedules as to what to do.

keep smiling

keep smiling

Writing about it now makes me realise that I do not really know how it works. I still have plans what I want to achieve and, of course, at work, I have to do things at a certain time and in a certain way. But I allow myself more to be guided by my intuition and if unexpected things come along I am more flexible in incorporating them and less anxious thinking: “I can’t do it!” Because I have proven many times that I can very well do it.

It also happens less and less that I get into “automated mode” which means I did just do the next thing without thinking and prioritising. And I lost connection to my body. Now I am still there, am concentrating on my breathing and stop for a moment. I rather think: “What’s important now?” and follow my intuition.

It somehow works but it looks like I need to explore this a little more to understand what is happening…..there’s a goal for next Monday 🙂

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This post takes part in Coleen’s “Mindful  Monday“. To find out more about “Mindfulness” head over to her blog and feel free to discover.

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15 thoughts on “Mindful Monday ~ Letting go of control

  1. I am so touched by your journey Bee! This is so wonderful. I have tears of joy for you. Each of us has a journey in this life and getting to know ourselves is part of that. You have given so much hope and inspiration to others from your fabulous post! Thanks again for inspiring me to continue on this quest. I am so happy for you! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What a great idea for a regular post: Mindful Monday. Thank you for this brave post. We do what we need to in order to survive but in reconnecting to your body it sounds like you are pushing past the limits. I love the way it feels when I remind myself to take a deep breath. It really does seem to act like a bridge between body and mind.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, it is! Please follow the link to Coleen’s posts. They are brilliant. And yes I learned that we do what we must to survive. And it is time to proud of what we have achieved and to share it with others. Blogging is such a great way to connect, share and learn. I wouldn’t want to miss it for the world. Am glad you feel the bridge between body and mind too. Taking a deep breath and having a cup of tea can solve a lot of things 🙂

      Like

  3. I think I hear about this just as I was diving into NaNo, and then I forgot about it (not very mindful of me, is it?). I believe I’ll be joining in next week!

    I love this post so much, I’m going to reblog! =D

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hi, Bee! I think you should make this Bee’s Mindful Monday, now. That way I can connect with you and link to your post. Your journey and mine always seem to cross, friend. I am learning more and more about my eating habits and how I have had to change. Many hugs, ❤

    Liked by 1 person

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