Shields ~ A #poem (Attention might trigger)

July 2016

In 2010 I started a series of poems which I call “My Lost Souls”. As I wrote this morning they express my experience of dissociation and how I feel I am becoming one more and more.

“Lost Souls” in this context means the parts of me that I have split from my consciousness to survive abuse. They, of course, built a system that made me survive. However, now that I am out of a traumatic life line they become more and more problematic.

Problematic in a way that the chaotic feelings I experienced as a child come to the forefront often in situations that have nothing to do with my childhood. They are still so overwhelming that I lose my sense of self and just react as viciously as these feelings demand.

Of course, I know that these are experiences from my past but knowledge alone doesn’t help to make sense of them and contain them in a healthy way. Writing poetry is one way of getting to grips with them:

Shields

Night falls
over my lost souls.

They stand strong
against
the Dark Knights.

One by One
holding up
their shields.

The angry one holds up
desire.
The gentle one holds up
love.
The little one holds up
grief.
The creative one holds up
hope.
The mad one holds up
rage.
The sensible one holds up
knowledge.

My lost souls
and
their shields
shine.

Shine on
the
Dark Knights.

Shine on
a new life.

Shine on
and on
and on

and
Dark Knights
power
is
broken!

 

dark knight

dark knight: photo credit: Eva Rinaldi via Flickr

 

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