It is still “Time to Change”/ Es ist immernoch “Zeit fuer Veraenderung”


August 2017

A lot has changed since I wrote this post. However, there is still lots to do and so I post it again

April 2011

Stephen Fry promoted a page on Facebook a few days ago. It is about the charity “Time to Change” and it is information about mental health issues. It also shows Interviews with people being affected by mental health issues. I think it is really important for people not being affected to start thinking what it really means.

It is hard enough to be affected by bad mental health you really do not need the thoughtless behaviour of the people around you on top of it. You should think we live in an educated century and middle aged beliefs should have died out but the truth is – they are not.

Well, if someone breaks a leg no one would expect him to walk and work with it and not to see a doctor. But if you break your soul loads of people think you just make things up and it can not be that bad. But that is only because they do not know anything about it. Talking to real people being affected and listening to what their experiences are will help for more understanding and more help.

So please visit and get some information and also give it a “like” to make a change. Thanks a lot!

August 2017
Vieles hat sich veraendert, seit ich diesen Beitrag geschrieben habe. Allerdings gibt es immer noch viel zu tun!
April 2011
Links in diesem Absatz sind in Englischer Sprache:
Stephen Fry hat vor ein paar Tagen fuer eine Seite auf Facebook geworben. Die Seite ist ueber die britische Wohltaetigkeitsorganisation “Time to Change” und sie informiert ueber Menschen, die an psychologischen Problemen leiden. Zum Beispiel zeigen sie Interviews mit betroffenen Personen. Ich denke, es ist wirklich wichtig fuer Nichtbetroffene, endlich darueber nachzudenken, was psychische Krankheit wirklich bedeutet. Es ist schwer genug davon betroffen zu sein, man braucht sicherlich nicht noch das unbedachte Handeln der Menschen um einen herum. Man sollte meinen, dass wir in einer aufgeklaerten Zeit leben und mittelalterliche Denkweisen ausgestorben sind. Aber in Wahrheit sind sie das nicht.
Wenn man ein Bein gebrochen ha,t erwartet keiner von einem, weiterhin zu laufen und zu arbeiten oder etwa nicht zum Arzt zu gehen. Aber wenn man seine Seele gebrochen hat, denken die meisten man spielt sich nur auf und es kann ja nicht so schlimm sein. Aber das kommt nur daher, dass sie nichts ueber psychische Krankheiten wissen. Wenn man mit betroffenen Menschen redet, wird man mehr darueber erfahren und hoffentlich wird es mehr Hilfe geben. Also schaut bitte auf der Seite, um Informationen zu bekommen und gebt ihr auch ein  “like”, um eine Veraenderung herbei zu fuehren. Danke schoen!
Ich werde sehen, ob ich eine aehnliche deutsche Seite finden kann

Mental Health ~ Binaural Beats


Life isn’t easy when you have gone through traumas in your past. Your mind and mood is a little more fragile than the minds of those who are not challenged with their wellbeing.

There are many different ways of dealing with your mental health. For many the right way is traditional medication prescribed by your GP, therapy, and exercise. For other’s a more creative and “out of the box” approach is helpful.

I am a stubborn person who has been raised in the believe that both approaches have their time and throughout my life, I have realized that I am the only one who really knows what is good for me and that I have the freedom to experiment with healing methods.

That is the reason why I experiment with binaural beats since last year. I stumbled over them by accident when I was looking for advice how to deal with my teeth grinding that has become so bad that I woke up every morning with a tension headache that nearly killed me. I am not a fan of painkillers, the mouthguard I used since years didn’t seem to help and the anti-depressant my GP prescribed me to relax my neck muscles put me in a spin downwards with my mental health.

So I tried to find out more about Bruxism and different methods to deal with it. That lead me to this video

“Well,” I thought, “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger!” and “Surely it can’t make my teeth grinding worse!” and so I put the little video on every night when I went to bed.

And placebo effect or not, it helped. It hardly ever happens now that I wake up with a headache from my teeth grinding.

You know how much I have struggled in the las years with my mental health. Again, I am not a fan of traditionally prescribed medication as it usually makes my situation worse and I have used holistic methods for a long time to deal with depression.

However, I have realized that a mental health problem is a complicated system of fears, traumas and a feeling of helplessness that needs to be addressed on many levels. Therefore, I wondered if binaural beats could help me here too.

I stumbled over this video which I added to my bed time routine and I found it extremely soothing and helpful.

And even though I have stumbled over my stress levels and they have brought me down again overall I feel I deal with stress and a situation like that much better than I have before.

It is even the case that I have started to change the direction of my thoughts and ponderings from my past more to the future and a wish to overcome my fears and move forward. And, you guessed it, again a binaural beats video is helpful.

I see my journey to a better mental health every much from a spiritual point of view. Moving forward is all fine and good but if you do not feel grounded and save it won’t work. I experienced this many times and therefore I always listen to this video first before I allow myself to tackle my fears.

Don’t get me wrong. These videos are not a substitute for the advice from a health professional who knows about mental health and I use the courses and therapists from the Wellbeing Service here in the region on a regular basis.

However, they are a good addition and one part of the self-care I have developed to stay in good mental health and in balance. In my experience, it is very important to stay active in your self-care and develop your own way of staying in balance. That gives you a feeling of being in control which is beneficial for any mental health issue.

What does help you to stay in balance?



#JusJoJan 10 – Danger


Dangerous my state of mind:

Angry, suspicious, scared and


Given my past I stumble

Eventually over myself.

Rage is suffocating me, myself and I.

Please head over to Linda’s “Just Jot It January” and don’t forget to visit host Dan’s blog and prompt giver Matthews too.

Lost ~ Poem at night



in the



my mind!


full of





I am


in its













What is Anxiety?


January 2017

I wrote this post last year but as anxiety has hit me full power again I need a reminder 🙂 and maybe it helps you too to understand what is going on:

January 2016

Yesterday, I gave you a short introduction to depression. What many do not know is that depression is closely linked to anxiety. Those who suffer from depression often suffer from anxiety too. That is why we will have a look at facts about anxiety shown by Beating Anxiety

If you want to know more about anxiety please look here:

Anxiety on Mind page

Anxiety on Anxiety and Depression Association of America

Anxiety on NHS Choices

Anxiety Self-Help guide by Mood Juice (PDF download)

Poem at night ~ Grease



on my




on my



of course


the musical!



my mind!

Grease of

a thousand


of pain!





#JusJoJan 2017 – Time


Linda asked in her prompt how we are hanging in the new year.

I’m hanging low. Two panic attacks in the last two days of 2016 and I’m thrown out of balance entirely.

But at least I stay consistent: I started and ended 2016 the same way.

However, I really have no time for this shit. I’ve done everything I could to prevent it and take good care of my wellbeing but boy did it hit.

Not much I can do but pat the black dog and ask for its lesson. 

I think though I have come further along on my path: I have not lost my new attitude fully. It’s just hidden in the back of my mind and I just need to coax it out again.

So I bugger of and spend my time doing just that :-).

Take good care of yourselves!

This post takes part in Linda’s “Just Jot It January” and the prompt was provided by JoAnna.

Survivor Saturday ~ Helplines & Homepages to get you through the holidays


Survivor SaturdayChristmas is supposed to be a time of cheerfulness and happy experiences. The sad truth is though that, Christmas is a difficult time if you are a survivor of abuse. So often abuse has happened more at any holiday and of course at Christmas too so memories might surface and give you trouble.

You might still be in contact with the abuser/s and might see them at the holidays and further abuse might happen in different forms. And it is a stressful time anyway so memories find their way in easier. It is also a difficult time for parents and partners of survivors of abuse.

A few years ago I did a post about helplines who can be there to support you if you are in distress or in crisis or someone you love is. Unfortunately, I lost it but I thought today is a good time to do another one.

Well, one post is too small to post global helplines so I had a look into my stats and chose to write for those countries where most of my readers come from.

But no matter, if I have a helpline for you or not, please remember: This problem is only temporary. Life will get better and you are strong enough and have enough resources inside yourself to get through this.

It’s not about Christmas I admit but still helpful :-). Video credit: Trauma Recovery University via YouTube

And here are a few resources that will help you this Christmas (and any other holiday in any religion):


Resource: The Survivors Trust

The National Association for People Abused in Childhood (NAPAC)

Call 0808 801 0331 free from all landlines and mobiles
NAPAC provides a national freephone support line for adults who have suffered any type of abuse in childhood.
Telephone support line opening hours: Monday – Thursday 10:00am-9.00pm and Friday 10.00am-6.00pm/ no information about Christmas opening times

SurvivorsUK Helpline Web Chat

National Helpline Web Chat for adult male survivors of rape or sexual
Monday – Friday 10.30 – 21:00; Saturday – Sunday 10:00 – 18:00/no information about Christmas opening times

MOSAC (Mothers of Sexually Abused Children)  0800 980 1958

Supporting all non-abusing parents and carers whose children have been sexually abused. We provide various types of support services and information for parents, carers and professionals dealing with child sexual abuse.
Website: Unfortunately, the helpline moves and is not available from December 16th up to January.

SupportLine 01708 765200

Confidential emotional support to children, young adults and adults by telephone, email and post.
Website: No information of Christmas opening times

CISters  (Surviving Rape and/or Sexual Abuse) 02380 338080

Answerphone 023 80 338080 is usually monitored daily during the week and callers can choose to leave their name and phone number, and we will call them back and will take care when doing so. Or can email

The helpline is available to female adult survivors of childhood rape/sexual abuse, and others can call if they have a concern about such issues.  In the case of the latter we will seek to signpost them to appropriate services. No information about Christmas opening times

PODS: Positive Outcomes for Dissociative Survivors
A project of Survivors Trauma and Abuse Recovery Trust (START)

PODS works to make recovery from dissociative disorders a reality through training, informing and supporting.
Helpline: 0800 181 4420 – Tuesdays 6-8pm or appointments at other times by contacting the office
Email:  (for START) or (for PODS)
Website: and


photo credit: S. Khan via Flickr

US & Canada:

Resourse: Isurvive

The Sex Abuse Treatment Center

We help adults, teenagers and children; both females and males.

55 Merchant Street, 22nd Floor

Honolulu, Hawaii 96813

24/7 Crisis Hotline; 1-808-524-7273

Survivors of Incest Anonymous (SIA)
Offers self-help twelve-step recovery program for adult survivors of child sexual abuse. Defines incest and child abuse broadly. Provides general information, as well as information on how to start a new support group.
World Service Office
P.O. Box 190
Benson, MD 21018-9998
(410)- 893-3322

Incest Survivors Anonymous (ISA)
Self-help, mutual-help twelve-step support groups for survivors. For groups & meeting information and literature write them, (specify you are a survivor) or call.
P.O. Box 17245
Long Beach, CA. 90807-7245

RAINN (Rape Abuse Incest National Network )
Operates the U.S. National Sexual Assault Hotline and also provides a 24 live secure online hotline for victims, friends and family. Offers support and information about individual/group counseling, medical attention, reporting a crime, finding shelter and many other services.
2000 L Street NW, Suite 406
Washington, DC 20036
(800)-656-HOPE or 4673 (24 hour hotline) (24 hour online hotline)

Women Organized Against Rape (WOAR)
(215)-985-3333 (24 hour hotline)

They provide crisis intervention services to help survivors who have recently been sexually assaulted.
They also provide counseling and advocacy for survivors of sexual assault and sexual abuse, community education and public information about sexual violence.
One Penn Center
1617 JFK Boulevard Suite 1100
Philadelphia, PA 19103
(215)-985-9111 fax

Domestic Violence Survival
(800)- 799-7233(SAFE)
(800)-621-4673 (HOPE) in NY
Information and referrals to shelters, crisis, long and short-term counseling, legal assistance, document replacement, lock replacement

Sources for Domestic Violence Prevention from
List of over 100 organizations throughout the U.S. that offer counseling, advice, and even shelter to members of families where domestic violence has occurred. The sources listed include: advocates for better policies and social support systems, 24 hour hotlines and crisis counselors, and organizations that support and help domestic violence victims in their healing and recovery psychologically.

Safe Horizon
Safe Haven provides resources for domestic violence, rape, sexual assault and incest victims. NY Area programs include services for domestic violence, rape, sexual assault, child abuse, stalking, human trafficking, and homeless youths.
2 Lafayette Street
New York, NY 10007
(212)-385-0331 fax

YWCA Rape Crisis Center
Area programs include a 24-hour crisis line for survivors, family members, and friends, accompaniment of survivors to hospital and through the reporting and judicial process, peer support groups, child abuse and assault prevention programs and free confidential crisis counseling.
375 South Third Street
San Jose, CA 95112
(800)-572-2782 (domestic violence crisis line)
(408)-287-3000 (24 hour rape crisis line)
(650)-493-7273 (24 hour rape crisis line)

The Sexual Assault Crisis Center
Programs include state-wide Spanish and English 24-hour hotlines, individual short-term counseling, support groups, advocacy and benefit assistance.
1 Dock Street, Suite 320
Stamford , CT 06902
(888)-999-5545 (24-hour hotline, English)
(888)-568-8332 (24-hour hotline, Spanish)

Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests- SNAP
SNAP provides support and knowledge to all victims of clergy abuse and advocates helping ensure that in future generations, children will be safe. (U.S. & Canada)
PO Box 6416
Chicago, IL 60680-6416
(312) 455-1499
(877) 762-7432

Gift From Within (GFW)
This site is dedicated to those who suffer post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), those at risk for PTSD, and those who care for traumatized individuals. Articles, book reviews, coping ideas poetry and peer support through the pal network for women suffering from PTSD.
16 Cobb Hill Rd.
Camden, Maine 04843
Fax: (207)-236-2818

Pandora’s Project
This site provides support and resources for survivors of rape and sexual abuse. Included are articles and resources as well as a support forum and chat area. It is one of the few forum sites open to minor survivors (16 and older).
3109 W. 50th Street, Suite #320
Minneapolis, MN 55410
(612)-234-4204 is the largest consumer mental health site, providing comprehensive, trusted information on psychological disorders and psychiatric medications from both a consumer and expert point of view. They have an active mental health social network for support, online psychological tests, breaking mental health news, mental health videos, our documentary films, a live mental health TV show, unique tools like our “mediminder” and more.


Resourse: Isurvive

ASCA (Adult Survivors of Child Abuse), Australia
ASCA is a national organization which works to improve the lives of adult survivors of child abuse throughout Australia. Resources include: daily safety tools, crisis help, court info, ASCA workshops, etc.
PO Box 597
Milsons Point
NSW 1565
(02) 8920 3611

ACSSA (Australian Institute of Family Studies), Australia
ACSSA is a central collection point for research, information and resources about sexual assault in Australia. Their resources include crisis support for adult survivors of sexual abuse.
Level 20 South Tower
485 La Trobe Street
Ph: +61 3 9214 7888,  Fax: +61 3 9214 7839

1800RESPECT, Australia
National Sexual Assault, Domestic and Family Violence Counselling Service for people living in Australia. They assist people who have been or who are affected by sexual assault, domestic or family violence by providing online and telephone counseling. Resources are also available for loved ones and professionals.
PO Box 4069 Lane Cove
NSW 2066
Ph: 1800 737 732


photo credit: Wicker Paradise via Flickr

China: Sorry, I could not find any helplines for survivors


Beijing Suicide Research and Prevention Center Hotline
Hotline: Free: 0800-810-1117
Hotline: Mobile/IP/extension users: 010-8295-1332

Lifeline Shanghai
Contact by: – Phone
Hotline: (21) 63798990

Lifeline Yanji
Contact by: – Phone
Hotline: (0433) 273 9595
Mon: 08:00 – 16:00
Tues, Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun: 08:00 – 16:00

Germany: Links are in German

Resource: Dissoziation und
Bundesweite Hilfe für Mißbrauchsopfer (auch Männer): Tel. 0700-73353644
e-mail-Beratung unter:
Die bedeutendste Kontakt- und Informationsstelle gegen sexuellen Mißbrauch an Mädchen und Jungen. Ist seit 20 Jahren tätig und macht viel Öffentlichkeitsarbeit
Bundesverband autonomer Frauenberatungsstellen und Frauennotrufe; Kontakte zu regionalen parteilich-feministischen und patriarchatskritischen Projekten und Beratungsstellen, insbesondere auch im Zusammenhang mit sexualisierter Gewalt. Öffentlichkeitsarbeit. Beratung auch auf englisch und türkisch
Hilfe bei häuslicher Gewalt gegen Frauen, telefonisch 030/6110300 (täglich 9-24 Uhr), falls erforderlich, mit Dolmetscherinnen (in 51 Sprachen). Unterstützung für Angehörige und soziale Einrichtungen, online- und e-mail-Beratung

And you can find many more helplines of different countries but mainly for mental health problems at Together We Are Strong



photo credit: Nisa Yeh via Flickr


#frapalymo poem/Gedicht ~ shadow dog/schattenhund


it’s dark paws

spread over my soul


murky creature


this shadow dog!

seine dunklen pfoten

breiten sich ueber meiner seele aus


duestere kreatur


dieser  shattenhund

Dieses Gedicht nimmt an @FrauPaulchen’s #frapalymo teil

Mindful Monday/Healthy Living ~ Me and my Body and Essential Oils (Attention might trigger)

Mindful Monday

Mindful Monday

Welcome to Mindful Monday a blogging event that has been created by Colleen over at Silverthreading but for a while is hosted here at “A Spirit of Healing”. Colleen follows her call to tell the fairies stories, so her blog follows other paths.

Therefore, I have stepped in as I believe Mindful Monday is important, and it is important to have it as a weekly feature. Thanks Colleen for letting me be the host for the time being!

Mindful Monday is a blog feature to support each other on our mindful and healthy journeys. It is not a challenge but a community of bloggers who post insightful posts on Mondays which make us think, change and hopefully act too.

Please feel free to leave your link to your Mindful Monday post in the comments, so the Mindful Monday community has the chance to head over to your place and give and get support.

I am looking forward to reading your insights for this week!


One effect that not healed trauma has on you is that unwanted memories come back out of nowhere and it often is difficult to realise that these are memories and not the reality. It looks like Mindfulness and training your brain to stay in the moment helps with realising that these are just memories and not reality. Unwanted memories can be triggered by anything from a faint smell to music you hear or a feeling. You often are not aware of the trigger which makes everything more complicated. And I believe my body carries a lot of those memory triggers especially when it comes to pain. Pain which I constantly have in one form or the other reminds me of the past which can be a trigger.   I also told you about my “body work” however; I did not really explain what that means.

My Body Carries Memory Triggers

And I believe my body carries a lot of those memory triggers especially when it comes to pain. Pain which I constantly have in one form or the other reminds me of the past which can be a trigger. Last week I told you about my thoughts on body and trauma.  I also told you about my “body work” however; I did not really explain what that means.

My Body Work

My “body work” mainly consists of me applying essential oils in a dilution on my body in the morning and the evening.I have created my own mix one for my hormone balance and my immune system and one for dealing with pain.

Now don’t ask me about dilutions of essential oils because I only know the basics: Do not apply essential oils without a carrier oil. Carrier oils are oils like jojoba, grapeseed or sesame oil in which you put a few drops of essential oil.

What’s the problem?

When I was researching my hormone problems which are probably caused by an early start of menopause and having fibroids, I found a page which said that five drops of oil on an ounce (about 30ml) of carrier oil are ok to use. So far I stick with that and it has not caused me any problems.

However, people and bodies are different and it might be that you do not react well to essential oils in general or to a certain dilution. It is always good to ask the advice of Aromatherapy specialist to find the right way.

My essential oil mixes

I have bought a few 100ml bottles at Woodland Herbs online shop to store my oil mixtures. That means it carries a little more than 3 ounces of oil. Therefore, I put between 15 and 20 drops of essential oils into them.

My “hormone” mix consists of five drops Lavender, five drops Geranium and ten drops of Frankincense. My “pain” mix is five drops Frankincense, five drops Rosemary and ten drops Lavender. The carrier oil I use is Almond oil which I also get from Woodland Herbs.

I have to admit I am experimenting with these mixes. I know that rosemary increases the blood flow in your blood vessels which is good to relax, get rid of toxins and it increases metabolism. Lavender relaxes and so does Frankincense.

Frankincense also has a balancing effect on your hormones while Geranium boosts your immune system. As far as I could find out, all these oils work well together. As all three of them also have a good effect on depression and anxiety I figured it can only be a good thing for me overall.

What do I do?

I oil different parts of my body in the morning and in the evening depending on which symptoms I deal with. Right now I have trouble with constipation probably due to my fibroids. So I oil my belly with the “pain” mix and my lower back every evening but also in the morning as often as possible. Rosemary improves blood flow . Therefore, I assumed it would give my digestive system a boost too.



A week before my period starts I change to use the “hormone” mix for my belly as it keeps period pain at a minimum as well as it has decreased the strength of my period. I also have trouble with my shins and my ankles. It is a constant pain. As Rosemary is often used as a pain relief, I use it on both.

Anything else?

I have assumed that I have trouble experiencing my body in a positive way as it has been violated at a very early age. Touch is difficult for survivors of abuse because of exactly that reason. However, humans can’t be healthy without human touch so we are in a little bit of a vicious circle here. I drew the conclusion that the best way for me to heal this dilemma is to use touch in oiling my body and therefore give it a positive and healing experience of touch.

However, my healing journey in this respect had a wonderful boost long before I tried the above exercise: For some strange reason, I have hardly ever experienced any flashback or fears with my husband touching me. That was a revelation and I assume that the positive experience with my husband has enabled me to develop a better connection to my body in general. I am very grateful for that.

Not long enough

I do not think that I can say yet if it really makes a difference to my healing of the past trauma. However, I feel more relaxed when I keep up with this oiling regime and overall it feels like I am doing something good for myself. That seems to be a strategy that keeps depression, anxiety and flashbacks in check

Mindfulness and body

I believe mindfulness does not only have something to do with your mind and how you perceive your life. I believe mindfulness also encompasses being mindful of your body and giving it what it needs. Often our doctors or psychotherapists only think in boxes and have learned that what helps one should help another as well.

However, we are all individuals and often our instincts tell us exactly what we need to do to heal even though modern medicine either doesn’t believe in it or isn’t aware yet how another healing method works.

In the end, though we have to live our lives with our bodies. So if something helps you why not go with it no matter what the masses think?

Do you believe there is an “inner healer” in you that guides you?